Love Actually (2003)

On the night of April 14, 1912, 1,523 people died on the doomed first voyage of the Titanic. This has always felt an appropriate allegory to Frank for his own first dates,

—from
Violet, who was angry and disappointed that no one had told Frank she had only one leg. Truth be told, the way she danced it didn’t matter.
—to
Daisy, who was angry and disappointed that no one had told Frank she had only one ear. Truth be told, Frank wasn’t on this blind (deaf) date’s radar-screen anyhow.
—to
Rose, who was angry and disappointed that no one had told Frank she had had only one lover. Truth be told, when she bumped into her ex that night, she sobbingly said, its more romantic to cling to an asshole than let a second man in the honey pot.
—to
Iris, who was angry and disappointed that no one had told Frank she had but a one second attention span. Truth be told she went off with an oil-rig lineman who looked like Matthew McConaughey (Dazed and Confused; Linklater 1993) after 15 minutes of being with Frank.

But these faded flowers are behind Frank now as he strolls the Titanic artifact exhibit in Atlanta, Georgia, arm and arm with Señorita Georgia Pan de Azúcar a.k.a. “Sugarloaf Jones,” to those close to her. And Frank hoped to become the closest.

Sugarloaf was a research fellow (!) from the University of San Juan, a cellular biologist with expertise in necrotizing fasciitis. She was completing her dissertation on the early detection of Fournier’s syndrome through case data sets made available with the cooperation of the NCID. In short (not too short); she’s a helluva woman. Part exotic, part geek. And all warm and soft in all the right places.

Also she has an inordinate fear of monkeys.

Anyway, the exhibit retells the history of the ill-fated Titanic both through the individual tales of some of its passengers and victims, interspersed with parts and artifacts from the beast, collected during expeditions to the sunken wreckage. Some exhibits are hands on including a man-made iceberg to show how cold sea water is in the north Atlantic; and an even colder slab of the ship's hull. There are plenty of eerie remnants of life aboard the Titanic, cosmetic jars, satchels and hats, bottles and plates, many with the White Star Line logo. You can even buy replicas in the gift store. What better omen for your tea party than Titanic mugs, what better thing to instill confidence to instill in your co-workers than a Titanic neck tie.

Sugarloaf is most affected by the story of American travel writer Helen Churchill Candee. She gave her locket to courter Edward Kent, during the disaster. Thinking he was more apt to survive. Before boarding a lifeboat, Candee handed the gilt locket containing a picture of her mother to Kent, saying "Take these for me, you know we women have no pockets," The locket was later recovered from Kent’s body. It, and Candee’s 36-page retelling of the adventure, recently sold for $185,000 at auction.

Frank was interested in First Officer William McMaster Murdoch who, with lifeboats filled and launched, reportedly kept tossing deck chairs overboard for floundering passengers to cling to. Even as he himself slid into the sea. He was one of 688 crewmen to die in the icy water.

The message of the Titanic, to Frank was that if life is short, and if the seas held unseen perils ahead, one must never let anything go unsaid, undone. We only get one chance at on this crap shoot blue marble. Maybe. Or maybe not.

Sugarloaf agreed there were possible dangers ahead, but while Frank was already waving good bye to the life boats, striking up “Nearer My God to Thee” on the boat deck, she was carefully scanning the horizon from the crow’s nest. Trying to make things safe if not right.

Frank never hesitated; the poor devil would always blurt out whatever the hell was on his mind. Always. The thoughtful Sugarloaf paled at Frank’s impulsiveness. She envisioned cells merging, slowly building colonies of love and trust, her gentle phagocytes working away the barnacles on Frank’s miserable plasmalemma. Frank sees ships colliding and sinking in the night. In his mind he was already off on another misadventure, unsure if he was leaving someone behind or not.

They were both right: the hasty and anxious often fuck stuff up. The too-careful often let things pass by.

Later that night they hit the town but all the bars are closed at an unheard of 12 AM. And for once it doesn’t much matter. Frank and Sugarloaf sit and talk in the rain, under a dry awning off Kenny’s Alley. His arms around inviting hips for the first time in ages... or ever.

For the second date she would ask him to watch her favorite movie, the multi-headed chick flick Love Actually (Curtis 2003). Despite a few plot holes and schmaltz, it was OK actually. Everything was.

She holds him tightly and tells him he is good man. It means more than he can say. And he would have kissed her deeply right there but they had been debating something or other and the moment wasn’t quite right. Besides, save something for tomorrow, El Capitán. No ice bergs here.